I was going through my old laptop and fell across this story I wrote probably 3 or 4 years ago. It took me back to my first few years trying to form a social life in the big city as a adult. This is why I love New York Cit, there are so many different people from different industries. I am friends with people in the Fashion/ Modeling Industry, Oil, Technology field, Law enforcement, Beverage/Liquor, Sports, Jewelry, Marketing/Pr, Film/Tv Industry, Nightlife/Club, Culinary, Broadway/Theatre, Automotive, Political, Food/Hospitality, Concierge/Hotel, Non profit, Literature, and one of the most interesting out of them all the Porno industry. Brittany Andrews, a woman I met through (Lainie Speiser) at a event she through in the Bowery Electric a few years ago. I came by to say hello and show support to her and still do till this day. It was a cold night and it was packed inside its lower level, but just curiously wanted to see who was coming there and I ended up meeting Brittany. Her name was (Michelle Barry) at the time, she approached me and made small talk but all I could remember out of our conversation that night is her uttering the words "I'm a porno star". Woah that's interesting I thought and I immediately offered her my number for at that time I was a promoter at the time. Having a porno star come to my party was definitely a rare thing to brag about was all I was thinking. Moving forward we kept in contact via text and she actually came to one of my parties one night. It was a very snowy night and I was working at the (Empire Hotel Rooftop) as a promoter subbing for the well known city nightclub promoter (Nyeelah Lewis). It was a dull night but she took a limo through the wretched snow and came to my party. One of the most morale boosting experiences as a first time nightclub promoter and I have a porno star at my table. NICE!!. When people found out her career they flocked to her making me feel like a king. She even muttered some words to me in which I choose not to say but lets say it was a good night for me. Promoting was never the same after that night for it got harder each and every time I tried after and eventually quit. Me and Brittany still kept in touch and are still currently friends but the next encounter we had in person was what this blog post is all about. She invites me to a event with a few friends somewhere in the Upper east Side. Of course I am willing to come for at that time I was ready to get out of the house in the boring winter time. Cant recall our entire conversation but remember the words "its going to be uber fun". I met her around the designated area and found out it was a church and I really was happy about that. I am a Agnostic for those who do not know what that is just google the definition. My view point when it comes to the invisible forces of life is " I don't know how this lifetime works or who is controlling it but I am certainly ok with that. I don't trust religious opinion on how life should be lived. I just want to live life as happy as possible pursue financial stability and enjoy it as much as I can before I die. I don't need religion to have morals I am a good person already and intuitively know right from wrong." I have to explain that all the time to people who think I am doomed to hell or im a evil wicked person, Obviously I wasn't happy it was a church and probably would have said no to it had I known before hand. Too late though I was already inside and she had already introduced me to her friends she had invited as well. First thought on her friends were wow this is a very weird and interesting group of people. Apparently this church is friendly to anyone, rather Gay, Straight, Alien, Muslim, just universal. I let her know that I wasn't aware it was a church and kind of felt deceived but she said "just relax you'll enjoy it". I ended up tuning most of the lectures out for the majority of the sermon but I do admit I understand the community aspect of which religion provides. I am not that close minded I just wanted it to end. Now to the point of this story the event ends but Brittany invited us to have lunch with her. We ended up going close by to a café to sit down and hang out. After we get acquainted she starts to tell us about a story she had been through in a recent trip to Dubai. That day unfolded to be one of the most interesting stories I have ever heard in my life. She really is a ring leader. I never forgot the story after that day and decided to surprise her with a spin off of the story she told us with a comedic twist. I hoped to make this skit a short film one day. I re wrote the story as if I was talking as her. With a bit of her real life personality I zoned out and made a very funny version out of the experience and added in some new factors.
By the way guys "THE STORY IS FAKE!!!!!!" I just have a crazy imagination like that............. Hope you enjoy
So there I was in a hot
office in one of the worst situations of my life so far so I think.. No it was
I was facing actual real jail time with no cock around in sight. Hell on earth
to the extreme unless I start to turn the other direction and go for a chick in
turbans. .I wonder whats waiting on the other side of that turban... Well I am
about to find out the hard way unless someone gets me the fuck out of
here!!!.........
So a few days earlier my
agency tells me about this client in Dubai willing to pay big money for a hot
blonde. Been to dubai before so im thinking what the hey, sandy beaches, extra
cash in my account, potential to meet more clients while im out there, smooth
sailings right??... Now just another long flight to the middle east, (sigh) I wonder
how many frequent flyer miles I have earned with this trip underneath my belt.
So I arrived at the airport and first thing is first exchange my money at the
currency exchange place. Ok so all set, Stopped to look at the beautiful
scenery and yada yada yadaa. Ok now cut
the bull shit its time to fuck, where the fuck is this client. So talking to
him on my bbm, still waiting to rendezvous so in the mean time I went to this
lavish hotel so I can drop my load of baggage and have some hopeful fun. Some of
my guys actually make my job fun for the most part and unfortunately this wasnt
the case this time. A few back shots, a bit of suckey suckey love you long time
with a condom of course, but surprisingly a few rides on his over satisfied
belly did stimulate my clit. Wow so this is why woman like guys with big
bellys, learn something new everyday... So after our little tango I gave him a
little over exaggerated breathing gasps while shaking my leg at the same time
saying how awesome it was.. Academy award winning stuff im such a pro at it but
enough of this I wanna hit the beach. So I get paid a few hugs and bbm me
laters if you get lonely and I was free as a bird!....
Its about 6:50 something,
and sun is starting to fall down real soon. Im at my hotel washing off my body
getting ready for the night and then responsibility hit me. I have to get this
money back home, so i had to do a trick I learned from a friend on how to wire
back the money to my US account without it be detected. The worst thing in the
world is to wire back money from a town that is associated with terrorist!!!
But no worries its gonna be 1 2 3 and out, as easy as sucking a cock of a old
rich fart.. Eeeewwwww not my favorite memory.. Alright so I get there to the
teller and hand over the money to get things started, had a strange feeling for
some reason but oh well still waiting. Suddenly the teller gives me a strange
look of suspicion. Oh no my cover is blown!! he must of seen one of my porno
flicks!!.... I only wish that was true, instead he looks at me and says excuse
me mam this money is counterfeit... I
reply oh ok well ill just run back to my hotel and replace the money, im not
far at all be back in a jiffy. The teller says "Mam! you can not leave,
you have to wait here till the police arrive.. So two options now, I can work
my charm or run outside and blend into the crowd.. Dubai is filled with Hot
blondes with vibrant personality..... Not!.......
Now the cops take me into
custody and again I have tons of experience with this as well sad to say, but
yeah im not a stranger to the jail system.. Before then I took the time out to
text all of my friends for advice back home and got the same response from
everyone. Make up a story and stick with it!!! So right there I got it, Im just
a naive harmless tourist and some asshole took advantage of me by switching my
US money with counterfeit money. Im such a poor innocent victim with nice tits.
Then reality sunk in just a tiny little bit at this point.Yeah im kind of
nervous but again its time to perform. If I can convince people that I had ten
orgasms with a dick I cant even feel and get a award for it then i can get out
of any situation. So here we go back straight, legs crossed, story ready, hair
done, poker face set! Hours are passing by and I had to explain my story about
3 times again and again, while i was starving but kept my composure no
sweat..... And then.... And then.... They asked me one more time about what
happened and came to their conclusion. If they go through the security cameras
at the airport and see that I talked to this so called asshole that takes
advantage with tourists with big tits then its all said and done..
So here I am now in a hot
office in one of the worst situations of my life so far so I
think.......Alright so time out, im in my own world right now, I am fucked! I
AM FUCKED!!! and im actually NOT enjoying it this time... Alright so I asked if
I can make a phone call. I was actually told that I can go back to my hotel but
I have to be back here in the morning exactly at 9am, nothing more nothing
less. They had my cell number and I needed a break from the pressure. So I
sprung the fuck out of there and went to my hotel kissed my rented bed, popped
open some wine and.. wait what the fuck am I doing?? I gotta call the good ole
US of A and contact whatever link to the US Embassy there was pronto. And yet
of course just like our old trustworthy government is back home, there was no
answer.to my cry of help. The voicemail haunted me every time I called but
managed to get someone who told me to call back in the morning, about 10am. 1
hour after my sentence back into the pressure hole.. how the fuck am I going to
call them if.., alright i need to get drunk, I cant believe this is
happening.......
First thing is first this
was more of a reality than i thought it was. I call a guy that used to live in
Dubai and he's a politician back home and told him my story. He tells me that I
am not fucked, I am Quadrupled FUCKED!!!!!! Counterfeit money is one the
highest crimes you can ever commit in Dubai next to murder, I am about to be
jail bound for a very long time and I have no one to rely on this time around.
The thought is making my pussy dryer than the Saharan dessert in the middle of
a heatwave in june.Wow where is my mind going .. Wait a minute these people
have been calling my phone and I didnt answer. I just woke up from my mini coma
wishing it was a dream.. .. Shit I'm sweating bullets. So i called them back.
When I finally got ahold they told me to come back to station for more questioning
and this time my morale was shot. What is going to happen now, is it a trick?
Did they see the cameras? No they didn't. I have to think positive, they
wouldn't do this to me.. I'm friendly , I 'm cheerful, Im Brittany in a jail
cell, who wants to fuck me now? AHHHHH!!!!!. I called the U.S embassy and
finally got someone!! With slight relief and minutes after minutes of being on
hold and explaining my situation they found a solution. The lady on the phone
said to go do something. And maybe because of the stress and I couldn't quite
make out exactly what she said, but to put it in my own words. In a calm voice
she said I'm sorry but if you can please do so kindly and go fuck
yourself...(Click!!)
So my smart friend calls me
back and tells me to say that I am extremely famous over there in the U.S. How
kinda true that was but he said if another country puts a celeb in jail they
would get serious negative attention. They would choke on the sentence and
would probably let me go. A new breathe of fresh air, Yes!!!! That's going to
be my alibi. I'm a celebrity and I should really get home or my fans would be
very upset, So with my morale boosted I came in the jail cell with my back
straight, boobs pointed out. Only to find myself feeling the same pressure I
felt when I left the day before.. Ok so I broke the big news and told them I am
big time back home.. Their eyes widened up and said oh really? I nodded uh huh.. What do you do? They
asked,. I said I am the famous porrrrrrrrnn..I meant to say I am a famous
Actress, Famous Actress and I have a movie to do in a few days.... Woah that
was a close one. So the guys keep nodding at me.. Goes to the back room to
discuss things while im sitting in the chair stiff as a log hoping to get
a light of hope. And it finally came...
"Umm miss Brittany you
are free to go, We cant find any evidence that its your money" Wa
whaaaaa?!! Oh ok... No need to ask any questions now lil ole me will just go
straight home like the good girl I am. As soon as I got out of the room I sprung
the fuck out of there!! Now to schedule
a flight and holy shit I left my (
) back in the office.. I walk
down the hallway and before I get into the hell hole I just left, another
detective stops me and says "Mam you cannot leave, we need to hold you for
more questioning.." I.. I..... I....... I did not just hear what I thought
I heard.... At this time my composure flew out of the window. I Fucking Just
Completely Lost IT. I kept say NO!
I...........I...... I...... me.... Me go home , ME GO HOME!!! ME GO
HOME!!!!!! ME GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I
Ran into the office and grabbed my (
) All while screaming and pointing toward the exit and my eyes wide
open, ME GO HOME!!!!!!!! The expression on the guys face saw the desperation
and they let me walk out. With me screaming out and panicking at the same time
I hit the door head first and kept on going. Nothing was stopping me from
buying the next flight out of dodge. No more to say other than I got my bags
and payed for the cab and plane ticket with my real money this time.. Good
fucking bye Dubai!!!
I get home to find my cat
layed up in the same position I left him in. Then all of a sudden the phone
rings and out of all people to call me, its the agency who put me in this
position in the first place. Ms., Anonymous tells me " Brittany we have a
client in Brazil, you want it?" Hmmm now if I get kidnapped what body part
would I have to give up if they hold me ransom... Maybe my finger........